Je T'aime: Chapter 3

He couldn't feel it, but he knew mentally that after working in the café for so long, he needed to rest his body or he would collapse. Ever since he could remember, he had been suffering from CIP, also known as Congenital Insensitivity to Pain - in short, he couldn't feel pain. At all. But unlike other patients, he had the ability to sweat - enough to regulate his body's temperature.

And when someone can't feel pain, they also can't feel hunger, tiredness, bodily discomfort and so on. Unlike other patients though, he could feel temperature - hot or cold - but not the pain and discomfort that came with it. CIP can result from different gene mutations, and in his case - since it varies with every patient - it caused him to lose 80% of his sense of smell, which was already severe.

Odors had to be extreme for him to detect them, and since his sense of smell was impaired, it also affected his sense of taste. Food tasted different and most of the time, it was completely tasteless.

How his parents kept him alive during his childhood, he had no idea. Typically, CIP patients die young, so it was a miracle he was still alive.

Physically, he was numb. Emotionally, he felt things like everybody else, but he was unstable. He got irritated easily, was moody, and could be a plain jerk. But he had been trained from a very young age how to live with this disease. And it helped him live a normal life - well, maybe not even close to normal, but it was bearable and kept him alive.

And because of his training, without actually feeling tired, he knew that he should be exhausted by now, after working for so many hours.

Lady SM hadn't returned to the café after leaving with the damn Count. So he and Cloud helped around the café. Fortunately, he understood Tagalog because his father had forced him to learn it a year ago for the sole purpose of being Lady SM's butler, though he couldn't speak the language fluently.

Monet said she would take care of everything after Jacques acted and pretended to be tired, and when she said that, he immediately dragged Cloud out of the café.

It was a good thing Cloud didn't resist and just went along. He wasn't in the mood to argue but he wanted company. He was used to being alone, but sometimes he craved companionship.

"So fucking tired..." Jacques groaned while walking. That's what normal people would say after working that much, though he didn't feel a thing at all.

Yes, he had already perfected the art of acting like a normal person. His mother had forced him to learn and act like a normal person for years, and it had been engraved in him because she hated imperfection.

He acted this way because he didn't want others to know about his condition. Because when people found out that he couldn't feel pain, they usually avoided him, looked at him strangely and with pity, made fun of him, or took advantage of his inability to feel pain.

His thoughts were interrupted when Cloud pointed at the Mercedes-Maybach Exelero parked outside Lady SM's café. "Get in."

"Your car?" he asked his companion.

As far as he knew, Mercedes-Maybach was one of the most expensive car brands. Jacques sometimes forgot that Cloud came from a very wealthy family in Spain that had originally hailed from France.

"Mmm." Cloud just hummed to answer him before getting into the driver's seat.

Jacques quickly got in and put on his seatbelt. He knew how to do it now, thanks to Cloud.

While Cloud was maneuvering the car out of the café's parking lot, Jacques spoke up. "Can we drive around a bit?" He was uncomfortable in the Count's house. He just wanted to breathe a little.

"Thought you were tired."

Jacques sighed. "Never mind."

Jacques thought they were heading back to the count's house, so he was surprised when they passed Bachelor's Village and Cloud drove without any destination.

He glanced discreetly at the driver.

Cloud told him that he wasn't a nice person, but somehow, Jacques didn't believe that. In Count Knight's household, Cloud was the person who took care of him, even though he was an outsider, and he appreciated that. He knew how hard it must be for Cloud to deal with him. Back home in Spain, no one could stand him.

Maybe he's just really kind...

"I hate kind people." Unconsciously, Jacques muttered under his breath. "What?" Cloud asked, busy driving.

"I fucking hate kind people." He repeated with irritation. "Don't worry. They hate you too." Cloud replied with thick sarcasm.

Jacques tsked. "Kindness is scary, don't you think? When people are kind, they usually want something in return."

"Yep." Cloud agreed. "As the saying goes, there's no free lunch in this world. Everyone has their own hidden agendas."

Jacques kept his eyes on the road as he spoke again. "So what's your fucking agenda?"

"What?" Cloud sounded taken aback. "You're nice to me. What's up with that?"

Cloud glanced at him. "When was I ever nice to you?"

Jacques let out a sarcastic scoff. "Really? Playing dumb? Doesn't suit you." Cloud chuckled. "Maybe I'm one of those rare genuine kind people."

Jacques scoffed. "Yeah, and pigs can fly."

Cloud let out a short laugh then shook his head. "Don't mind what I do, Lord Jacques. I've been a Butler since I was fourteen. It's in my nature to take care of the people around me, even when they're spoiled and pompous ass Marquesses."

He shook his head at Cloud's last words. "Spoiled and pompous, huh?" He laughed. "Trust me, I can be worse than that."

Cloud just shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm well experienced in dealing with the likes of you. Maybe you've forgotten who my boss is. He may not be spoiled and pompous like you, but he's crazy and moody, so give it your best shot, Lord Jacques." He glanced at him with a grin, "I'm one hell of a Butler after all."

"Challenge accepted." Jacques matched the smirk on Cloud's lips. "I'm pretty sure you won't be able to stand me."

Cloud just shrugged and then asked him a moment later. "You okay now?"

Jacques frowned. "What?"

"You seem fine now." Cloud said, which made Jacques frown even more. What the fuck is this asshole talking about - Jacques stilled and glanced at Cloud. Had he noticed that Jacques felt uncomfortable going home earlier? Was that why he went along with him when Jacques asked to drive around a bit?

Cloud was too observant. Maybe because he'd been a Butler and it was his job. Jacques looked out the car window. "Keep driving."

Cloud didn't complain nor say anything. He just drove the car like Jacques asked. No questions asked and just comfortable silence.

Thirty minutes later, Cloud was still letting him do what he wanted. No complaints.

"What's that?" Their car was moving slowly so he could see the vendors selling strange food by the roadside.

"The kind of food you probably wouldn't eat," his companion replied. Jacques scowled. "Don't be so fucking judgmental. Go buy me one."

Cloud shot him a nasty look. He responded with a fake smile.

"Go buy me one," he repeated his order.

Jacques knew Cloud was irritated. After all, he hated being bossed around by him because he wasn't his master. But to his surprise, after glaring at him for a couple of seconds, Cloud sighed then pulled over near the food cart.

"What do you want?" he asked him.

"The one on the stick," he answered while taking out his wallet from his pocket. "The one that looks like little worms? I wanna try it."

Cloud looked at him flatly. "It's called isaw." [Isaw is a barbequed chicken intestine sold by street vendors in the Philippines]

He just shrugged then took out his card from his wallet and handed it to Cloud.

"Huh?" Now Cloud looked confused while looking at him and then at his card. "Payment for the isaw," he answered.

Suddenly, Cloud started laughing really hard. And Jacques was looking at the man, confused.

"Why the fuck are you laughing, asshole?" He asked, irritated. Cloud's laughter sounded like an insult to him.

"N-nothing..." Cloud was still laughing and was trying to sober up but failing. "Fuck!"

Jacques glared at the Butler. "Continue laughing, you motherfucker, and I'll kick you out of this car even if this is yours. I swear, Cloud! Don't test me!"

Slowly, Cloud sobered up, but he would still chuckle from time to time. He glared at him.

"That was epic," he said with a laugh then pushed back his hand holding the card. "They don't accept cards." He laughed again. "I can't believe you gave me a black card to buy an isaw."

Jacques clenched his jaw while glaring at Cloud who was still chuckling as he got out of the car to buy him isaw.

Still irritated, he put his black card back in his wallet and grumpily waited for Cloud to come back.

While Cloud was buying, he observed him.

It's not like he wanted to taste it, it's because he wanted to test something.

It's because of the vegetable salad last night. Normally, he couldn't appreciate food because if it wasn't tasteless, it lacked flavor so much that it was almost tasteless. But there was something about the salad that made him taste something he couldn't explain. That was why he was grimacing, because he couldn't explain it. So when he got to his room last night, he forced himself to throw up what he ate.

Thinking that there must be something wrong with the food.

And then Cloud brought him another meal. He knew, just by looking at Cloud, that he made the food for him because he was worried he might be hungry.

And for reasons he couldn't understand, he tasted something in what Cloud cooked. It lacked flavor, close enough to be called tasteless, but there was something in the food that he couldn't quite explain, and he liked it. He liked what he tasted when he ate it.

Or was it really a flavor? Did he really taste something?

Or was his mind just playing with him?

With those questions in his mind, Cloud gave him a sandwich earlier. He removed the vegetables because he thought Jacques didn't eat them because of what happened last night. And when he bit into it, there was that similar taste again. Same flavor. Same feeling.

And he didn't even know why he was tasting something. He had to get himself checked first to know what was happening to him.

But for the meantime, he concluded that it had something to do with Cloud giving him food. So now, he wanted to test again if he would taste anything from the 'isaw' he asked Cloud to buy.

Minutes later, Cloud came back with five pieces of isaw and a bottle of water.

And out of the five pieces he bought, he only gave Jacques one.

Jacques scowled. "The fuck..."

Jacques clenched his jaw while looking at Cloud who was still chuckling as he got out of the car to buy isaw.

"Try it first," he said. "Let's see if you'll like it."

Jacques irritably accepted the single isaw and examined it like he was studying it.

Would he taste anything?

Since he didn't know how to eat isaw, he discreetly watched Cloud to observe how he ate it.

Once he saw how, he immediately copied him, and Jacques didn't know what expression to make when the isaw was in his mouth.

As usual. It tasted bland. He didn't feel or taste anything at all. Maybe Cloud giving him food and him asking Cloud for food had different effects? How the fuck would I know?! And because he was too focused on whether he could taste anything, it was too late for him to realize that the food got stuck in his throat. He felt the pressure in his throat and the struggle to breathe but not the discomfort or pain.

Jacques calmly took the water bottle from Cloud's hand and chugged it down his throat. He never stopped drinking until the pressure in his throat disappeared.

"You okay?" Cloud immediately asked after he finished drinking the water.

He nodded then handed back the unfinished isaw to Cloud.

"Tastes bad," he lied, his face showing irritation because he couldn't taste anything. "Fuck!" He cussed in annoyance.

"Give me a sec." Cloud got out of the car and threw the stick in the trash before quickly returning.

When Cloud came back in the car, he immediately drove off somewhere. After a while, the car slowed down and pulled into a drive-thru fast food restaurant.

Confused, Jacques just watched what Cloud was doing.

Cloud ordered something - a drink - then when he got the order, he gave it to him.

"Here." He took away the water bottle Jacques was holding and replaced it with what he ordered. "It's a coke float, a soda with ice cream on top. It'll help flush out the bad taste in your mouth. This," Cloud shook the water bottle in front of him, "can't help you."

Jacques looked at the drink he was holding then frowned at Cloud.

Did he think Jacques drank water to get rid of the taste of isaw in his mouth?

Jacques looked at the drink he was holding again. Back in Spain, he was not allowed to drink this kind of stuff. His mother would surely scream at him for even holding one right now.

"Drink that so the taste of isaw will go away," Cloud said while driving out of the drive-thru. "Not everyone likes the taste of isaw. It's an acquired taste."

Jacques didn't say anything and took a sip. He stilled when he tasted something. It was the same taste as when he ate Cloud's cooking and the sandwich! The same euphoric taste!

What the fuck is happening?!

"Don't like it?" his companion asked when he saw Jacques freeze. "It's okay..." he drawled, still confused.

"So picky." Cloud said with a laugh, glancing at him as he asked, "By the way, what do you want for dinner? I'll cook it for you since you worked really hard today."

It's not like I can taste it. "Anything's fine." "There's no 'anything' on the menu. Try again." He sighed. "The same one you cooked last night." 

"The air fried chicken?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Cloud glanced at him after a long minute or so. "You okay now, or should I drive some more?"

Jacques took a deep breath. "Let's head back."

Cloud just nodded then drove faster. Meanwhile, Jacques just looked out the car window. He was still thinking about the unexplainable taste he experienced last night while eating the vegetable salad.

Cloud will be cooking the same food for him tonight. Would he be able to taste something? Would it be tasteless this time? Or maybe he was just imagining it because he was tired of feeling numb?

Who the fuck knows? Definitely not him.

CLOUD knew his boss was crazy, but he never thought his insanity would worsen just because of Lady SM's lava cake that he and Lord Jacques ate.

His boss really had no boundaries when his madness struck. His Lord chased him and Lord Jacques with his katana and didn't stop swinging it at them until Lady SM came to stop the Count.

And the audacity of his boss to blame everything on him and Lord Jacques—the mess and the broken furniture—though he was the one who suddenly went berserk.

His master's craziness annoyed him sometimes, and this was one of those times, but seeing the Marquess stomping his feet on the floor like a kid because of too much anger and frustration towards Count Knight was so amusing that it melted his annoyance away.

Cloud just shook his head while letting the furious Marquess drag him by the collar towards the garage.

"That motherfucker!" Lord Jacques kept on cursing his Lord to no end while dragging him towards the garage. "You motherfucking Count! Fuck you! Go to hell!"

He's still angry, alright. So Cloud stayed silent and kept his laughter to himself.

Lord Jacques being angry was amusing to watch.

"Stop smiling!" Lord Jacques hissed angrily at him before slamming him on the Rolls-Royce window - Lord Jacques' car. "So fucking annoying!" He hissed again and cussed.

Cloud just looked at the Marquess who was still seething about his boss.

He remained quiet until the Marquess' sharp eyes looked at him questioningly.

"What?!" The Marquess snapped at him.

Cloud sighed while leaning on the Marquess' car. "I'm waiting for you to calm down."

"Fuck you!"

"Mmm." Cloud just hummed while looking at the fuming mad Marquess.

He was already used to this kind of behavior. His boss was even worse when angry because he would shoot his gun and always point it at him. And it never broke his calmness. Not even once.

Lord Jacques cursed his boss several more times before clenching his jaw and looking back at him.

"Why are you so calm?!" Lord Jacques snapped at him again. "Are you not even angry at what your master did?!"

"Used to it," Cloud said with a shrug.

He laughed dryly. "No wonder you were cocky when you told me that you can endure my attitude. Your master is the worst!"

"Mmm." Cloud just hummed while moving his chin upward.

"Fuck him!" Lord Jacques hissed before glaring at him. "And fuck you too!" Cloud just let the Marquess fume.

He discreetly glanced at his wristwatch. The Marquess had been angry for fifteen minutes and was finally about to calm down.

Couple minutes later, Lord Jacques finally calmed down and went to open the backseat of his car to get something. When he resurfaced from the car, he handed him a new t-shirt.

"Don't know if it'll fit," said the Marquess, "we're almost the same height but you're a bit bigger than me."

Cloud just nodded and bit the new t-shirt between his lips before taking off his tattered shirt caused by his master's katana in front of the Marquess.

After dropping the torn shirt on the floor, he put the Marquess' shirt on. "It's a bit tight," he commented while adjusting the t-shirt he was wearing. "But it'll do." Then he looked at the Marquess. "What now? You still mad? Still wanna curse? Or we're gonna buy some furniture?"

The Marquess sighed. "Let's buy some furniture."

He was about to get in his car when Cloud stopped him.

"Let's use my car," he said. "You don't know your way around here. And you're surely still tired from working at the café earlier. Unlike me, I'm used to working non-stop."

The Marquess just nodded and headed to his car first.

Cloud smiled secretly. Seeing the Marquess fuming mad was amusing but seeing him being submissive and just going along with him was more enjoyable, maybe because he knew how foulmouthed the Marquess was.

Cloud shook his head secretly. Even himself didn't know why the Marquess amused him - and why he was allowing this pompous ass to cuss at him, he didn't have the slightest idea.

He just enjoyed his presence. That's all.

Maybe it's because I'm always alone and saw a chance for companionship in Lord Jacques, since he's another butler living in the same house. That must be it.

He got in his car and glanced at the Marquess. He already had his seatbelt on. "Before we leave," he started the engine then turned slightly toward the Marquess, "I have to tell you something." 

"What?"

"We're broke."

"I know," the Marquess replied. "I'll take care of it." Then he shook his head, "you spoil your master too much."

He gave the Marquess a lopsided smile. "Want me to spoil you too?" 

"Fuck you," the Marquess replied.

He laughed softly then drove the car forward. Minutes later, Cloud pulled over in front of a Pharmacy.

"Wait- I thought we're gonna buy some furniture?" the Marquess asked him, confused.

"Give me a sec," he said then hurriedly got out of the car and entered the Pharmacy.

After buying the things he needed, he went back to the car and immediately went to work.

"Don't move," he told the Marquess before starting to treat his arm wound caused by his master's katana. "Your wound is quite deep," he observed while cleaning the wound. "Hold a little, this will sting a bit," he said before putting an antiseptic on the Marquess' wound and blowing a soft air on it to lessen the sting. "There. Done."

Cloud settled back in the driver's seat then froze when he saw the Marquess staring at him.

There was something in the Marquess' eyes that made his breathing hitch, taking him off guard.

"W-what?" He actually stuttered, stunning himself. Lord Jacques didn't answer.

"Do you have wounds anywhere else?" he asked, still wondering why he had reacted that way to the Marquess' gaze. "Well?"

He shook his head and looked away. "Not that I know of."

"Good." Then he leaned in to the Marquess again, to put the gauze over the wound this time, and Cloud was taken aback by the Marquess' sandalwood scent that made him move closer and sniff the intoxicating scent softly - it was intoxicating enough for him to want to bury his nose on Lord Jacques' neck and inhale his aroma.

Good thing he was able to stop himself midway! 

Fuck!

He quickly finished putting the gauze on the wound then cleared his throat before silently driving forward again.

While driving to the nearest Home Depot, Cloud's head was in a mess!

He knew that what he just did wasn't normal. No guy would sniff another guy! No scent had ever intoxicated him to the point that he wanted to bury his nose on that person's neck - let alone from a guy!

Fuck!

His grip tightened on the steering wheel. Something's up with him. He's being weird. Something is definitely going on with me! 

When they got home from Home Depot, Jacques immediately went to his room and quickly took off his clothes before facing the life-size mirror inside the room.

Jacques checked every part of his body for cuts and bruises. He was relieved to see that other than his cut wound that Cloud cleaned earlier, there was nothing.

Jacques stilled then chuckled remembering Cloud blowing a soft air on his wound after putting the antiseptic. He probably thought Jacques would feel the sting that came with it. Cloud was very careful while cleaning his wound.

And he admitted, it was a good feeling. Being taken care of like a normal person.

Back home, when he got cuts or bruises, the Doctor would come to clean his wound or put something on his bruises, but there was no care into it. It was just a job. He knew the doctor didn't care about being gentle while treating his wounds because he knew Jacques couldn't feel pain.

Everyone was taking advantage of his inability to feel pain. From his parents to every person in their household.

With a dark expression, he moved away from the mirror and got dressed again, then opened his cellphone that he had hidden under his bed.

There was a message from Kaius - the person he considered as a close friend and also one of the leaders of the Triad.

From: Kaius V.

How's it going?

Jacques replied. 'Need a Doctor's opinion. It's urgent.' 

From: Kaius V.

Call Doc. Kamden.

At this, he immediately called Kamden. He's a Doctor working for the Triad, he calls him sometimes for second opinions because Kamden knows his condition.

"Can't talk right now," he immediately said on the other line when he answered Jacques' call. "I'm busy-"

"I tasted something, Doc."

The person on the other line went quiet before carefully speaking with confusion. "Like food?"

"Yeah."

"But you can't taste them," he quickly said. "I mean you can, but it lacks flavor that it's almost tasteless."

"Yeah. I know. But I can taste now - I mean, not really." 

"How does the food taste?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I can't explain it but it tastes weirdly good."

"What?" There was a frown in Kamden's voice. "Fuck. I can't tell you anything unless I see you and run some tests. Where are you?"

"Philippines. Mission."

"That's a bummer." Kamden sighed. "Okay, just answer some questions for me and I'll try to give you answers."

"Okay." Jacques readied himself for the questions.

"What kind of food did you eat that you actually tasted the flavor?" he asked first.

"Air fried chicken." 

"And after that?"

"A sandwich." 

"And?"

"A soda with ice cream on top."

"That's weird." Kamden tsked. "I can see no common denominator in those foods you mentioned."

Jacques took a deep breath. "There's two actually." "What?"

"They all tasted the same to me and they're all given to me by the same person."

"Oh." Kamden said like something clicked. "Well?"

"Must be a psychological response."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're a CIP patient. And because of gene mutation, you lack sense of smell that's why it affected your sense of taste as well. And that will never change, Sotelo. That's why I said that it must be a psychological response. Your brain is responding to this person and because of this response, you actually felt like you tasted something, when in fact, it's just your brain. Amazing, isn't it?"

Jacques' face almost contorted. "Now I'm just confused."

The person on the other line laughed. "Me too. The brain is the most complicated part of our body. Some parts of it remain a mystery. Fuck. Honestly, that's just my opinion. Maybe this person triggered something in your brain. Don't know what though. You have to see your Doctor to check and make sure of what's going on with your body-"

"Wait, hold up!" He cut him off, "triggered what exactly?"

"Don't know." Kamden's voice was like shrugging, "you have to get yourself checked to make sure."

"So it's just a psychological response?" he asked softly because he couldn't understand it.

"Could be, but not sure. Anyway, what did this person do to you that your brain responded to him?" Kamden sounded curious. "This person must have done something to make your brain respond that made you feel like you tasted something."

"Don't know," he answered. "I have to go."

"Get yourself checked, Sotelo. Make sure nothing's wrong with you," Doc. Kamden advised before ending the call.

Jacques stared at the cellphone in his hand. What did Cloud do?

Nothing.

He just took care of him. Care. Was it because of that?

Was care really enough for his brain to respond and made him think that he tasted something? Well, care was something his life lacks, so maybe that's what triggered his brain?

He shook his head. Though he couldn't feel a headache, he felt like his brain was about to explode because he had no answers to his own questions.

And then the culprit of his confusion knocked on the door and entered his room, holding a tray with food.

"Eat." Cloud carefully placed the tray on the long bench at the foot of the bed. "Lady SM and my crazy boss are done eating, so I brought your food here. You'd be eating alone in the kitchen." Jacques was just looking at Cloud while the latter was talking. "You've only had a sandwich, half an isaw, and coke float in your stomach so move and eat now."

Jacques couldn't move. He was just looking at Cloud who got pissed because he wouldn't budge.

"Are you going to move and eat or do I have to feed you?" There was a threat in his voice. Jacques grimaced at Cloud when he said he'll feed him. "Fuck you." "Fuck you too, Lord Jacques." Cloud replied calmly before leaving his room.

When the door closed, he immediately approached the food and took a bite of Cloud's air fried chicken.

And there it was... the taste that he couldn't explain.

Jacques sighed and shook his head before speaking with thick sarcasm. "First, my body, and now there's something wrong with my brain."

Geez! I feel so fucking lucky.

Translator's Note: Hello again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's a surprise to me that Jacquess has this condition and I think it's interesting to see how it would pan out in the future. Thank you for reading and of course don't forget to support Mx Cecelib if you like their work. See you on the next chapter!